The term frenemies has to come from somewhere, right? I was talking to a young lady the other day who said her best friend outed her to her ex for cheating. What?! No loyalty?
Then there are my personal experiences with friends. There’s the one who tried to pursuit a relationship with my ex-boyfriend, the others who tried to control who I could be friends with and of course we can’t forget the one who hacked my Facebook page!
Fast forward from last year to now – what a great year! I got the balls to finally give my business 100%, got an office space in DC’s Atlas District, interviewed the designers from Rag & Bone, produced a cool event (Girls Night In DC), and got engaged – and there are plenty other milestones that I have left out but you get the point.
While all of this is happening, I should be celebrating with my friends, right? Wrong. I feel like I walk on eggshells in most of my friendships ( not all!). I am truly happy but know that I have to water a few things down or keep certain things to myself, in order to maintain the friendships that I do have left.
Then I realized, “WTF kind of friendships are those and do you really want that for yourself?”. The answer is that I don’t. I want real friends or none at all. I know that there are some cool girls somewhere who want the same – this post is for you.
If you want the real thing like I do, here are 5 types of friends that you should drop ASAP:
1.) The #1 Fan
This friend wants to be you at all costs. Hair, clothes, boyfriend – hell, she may even copy your thoughts. The sad part is that she may not even notice this about herself. She wants to learn how to be like you – so what you thought was a nice girls dinner was really a learning session for her. She might even have a shrine of you in her home, or feel inclined to nurse your new born baby ( Hand That Rocks the Cradle 2014?).
Why You Should Drop Her: You should only partake in healthy friendships where the other person truly loves who they are – anything else can lead to major problems down the road. Besides, celebrating each other’s difference is what makes friendship special!
2.) The Emotional Vampire
There’s a pity party and you’re invited!Take your vitamins before you talk to this one because she will suck the life out of you with her drama. She only calls you to complain about everything that’s going wrong in her life. Before you can share your trials, she’s hung up and dialed the next friends’ number for her next over-the-phone sob session.
Why You Should Drop Her: She does not care about you or anything that’s going on in your life. Her idea of friendship is having an abundance of shoulders to cry on. She also goes missing when her life is perfect. Who needs that kind of inconsistency in their lives?
3.) I’ve Got a Man So….Peace!
When she gets a significant other, she doesn’t pick up phone calls, deactivates her FB account, and goes missing for months on end. You know she’s broken up because she’ll send a “Hey, Girl!” text message out of the blue. She can be a combo of an Emotional Vampire as well. Uh oh…
Why You Should Drop Her: Friendship is a two-way street that no man should get in the way of. When you need her, she’s never there and will create tons of excuses as to why – but if Beyonce can be married to Jay-Z, mother to Blue Ivy and on world tour and still make time for Kelly, so can she!
4.) The Part-Time Envious Friend
She’s only your friend 2-3 days out of the week. She spends the rest of her time “hating in secrecy” on why things always go so much better for you than for her.
Why You Should Drop Her: Out of all of the types of friends to drop, I believe that this one could be salvaged if she wasn’t always comparing herself to everyone 24/7. This type of friend will never be happy unless she’s at the top – which is why her closest friends are usually not as intelligent, beautiful or as successful as she is. Boo.
5.) The Social Climber
She thinks you’re nice and cool but she’s really here to see “who you become”. She’s extremely strategic with her approach to friendship and aligns herself with people who can be of use to her one day. She’s the friend who always asks a ton of questions which poor you thinks is genuine concern. Not from her! She is trying to get in where she can fit in and understand what you have and where you’re going. Although she’s the hardest to pickup on, just pay attention to how she treats others – that’s your telltale sign!
Why You Should Drop Her: When you become that world star that we all know that you will be, she will sell your deepest, darkest secrets to the Enquirer and US Weekly. Ain’t nobody got time for that!